Why do friendships deteriorate after age 30? Expert explains

Many adults notice that the number of close friends decreases as they get older. Relationship expert Dr Laura Dabney explains that the real cause of loneliness is not hidden behind busy schedules or social media, but rather lies in the superficiality of relationships.

In adulthood, many people have dozens of social media "friends," but a genuine sense of closeness remains elusive. Relationship expert Dr Laura Dabney told Newsweek that this paradox is a widespread phenomenon, and its roots run deeper than simply a hectic pace of life.

Superficiality is the main problem

According to Dabney, the main reason why many feel lonely is the superficiality of relationships. People may have plenty of acquaintances and so-called friends, but these relationships often remain confined to surface-level contact: shared events, greetings, and brief conversations, without any emotional depth being invested in them.

After the age of thirty, life changes significantly: career, family, and other obligations demand increasingly more time and energy. The emotional investment that was once poured into friendships during youth is now directed elsewhere. As a result, many earlier friendships fade into the background and eventually diminish.

Social media paints a false picture

The expert also emphasizes the role of social media. The presence of hundreds of contacts on platforms like Facebook or Instagram creates an illusion of an active social circle, but in reality this rarely replaces genuine closeness. Virtual interaction may be convenient, but it cannot provide the emotional support that a person truly needs.

According to Dabney, the solution is a conscious effort to invest time and energy in those relationships that feel most important. Friendship doesn't sustain itself; it requires attention and regular contact, whether through shared meetings or genuine conversations.